Posts Tagged ‘Alcohol’

The Hangover: God, I hate thee.

Once, during prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.

–          W.C. Feilds

I open my eyes and already I can feel it. It’s a simmering pool of blackness, on the verge of boiling over, just below the surface of my brain. My mouth is dryer than a child’s sand pit and tastes not dissimilar from one. My stomach is fine, but that will change soon. I need a glass of water like Prince needs an inch. My muscles ache and I have the vague feeling that when I stumble downstairs to see my flatmates I’m going to be highly embarrassed by something I did but can’t quite remember. I am hung-over. Life’s little way of telling me that I’m a useless idiot. In the words

Helping ugly people get laid for centuries.

of Ellen Digeneres ‘A hangover is when you open your eyes in the morning and wish you hadn’t’.

Did I really need that last shot, that second bottle of wine or the third? The hangover is a subject that is steeped in deep ritual. I personally can’t say that I am a fan of the hangover but at the same time I am certainly no stranger to it. As I write this I am struggling to remember another night out, the memory washed out, patchy and old. As such, I am looking straight down the barrel of a hangover today. Bring on the roiling belly, vicious headache and the urge to consume anything with grease content high enough to make paper see-through.

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